What is positive parenting, and does it strengthen or weaken our child relationships?
Positive parenting helps to create children with healthy self-esteem, are less aggressive, and who have got better family bonds. However, many parents are not sure where to start with positive parenting practices.
Table of Content
What is positive parenting?
By focusing on modelling, besides direct instruction, positive parenting gives us a whole new set of tools. These are to help our kids learn the lessons they need to thrive in life. Good behaviour can be taught and reinforced while weaning the destructive behaviours without hurting the child verbally or physically.
Some believe that when a child makes a wrong choice, they need a punitive type of punishment. This isn’t the case and is often unnecessary or even what he child needs.
Infants can hear and see our calm behaviours so start early.
Positive parenting is for those parents who would like to respectfully and lovingly set limits with their children, without breaking their spirit.
By enforcing age-appropriate reasoning with mild negative disciplinary consequences, such as time-out, even defiant toddlers learn to pay attention to the teaching part of discipline eventually.
However, suppose the reasoning is never backed up with any negative consequences. In that case, defiant toddlers learn to tune out the parent instead. It’s a move towards raising children that strengthens family relationships, increases parents’ confidence and promotes children’s healthy development.
- An external support system can be helpful.
- You can approach parenting with more clarity and grace.
- This way, parenting methods assume a lot of significance.
- Engaging in positive discipline is not ignoring problems.
Research demonstrates that the quality of parenting and caregiving throughout a child’s life is one of the most powerful predictors of their future social, emotional, and physical health and well-being.
As parents, we do our best to provide a positive environment for our children filled with nurturing love, unconditional regard, and positivity. If a child lacks parent engagement and structure, you as a parent will most likely become frustrated, irritated, and angry.
Limit retaliatory discipline when addressing negative behaviours.
Children need us as parents to teach them the difference between right and wrong and guide them through decision making. Children are always in learning mode and will make mistakes.
This is expected, yet we shouldn’t make excuses for their behaviour just because they are too young to know better. And then we pretend that when they get older, they will make better decisions.
Being a positive parent with your kids.
Taking personal responsibility helps us be intentional in how we communicate with our kids and forces us to change our own lives.
Positive parenting focuses on the use of kind words and gestures, brainstorming solutions to problems together and seeking to help improve our kids’ decision-making abilities one step at a time.
Impassioned opinions should be celebrated, not squashed.
Most parents, before adopting positive parenting, said they have shouted, yelled or screamed at their kids a few times or more in the last week. They also said that is an increase over their usual behaviours.
This is key today in our culture where the helicopter parenting trend encourages us to help our kids avoid difficult situations of failure, sadness or disappointment.
Why is positive parenting important?
Positive parenting builds healthier relationships between parents and children. The approach makes parents more sensitive, responsive and consistent in their interactions with their children, and it makes children happier, more optimistic and more intrinsically motivated to choose the behaviors that parents prefer.
This evidence-backed style is proven to boost kids’ confidence and build a foundation for better behaviour at home and at school. Sometimes, parents put to much pressure on their kids to do good in school, follow the rules, or live up to certain expectations.
As a positive parent, it’s essential to acknowledge your negative thoughts and feelings, but try not to let them influence your general mood and exchanges with your kids.
A recent study found kids who frequently break the rules often become educational over-achievers and high-earning adults. We should let our kids be kids, to play freely and develop into their full potentials.
Life lessons should be a daily component of your parenting.
Sometimes it is very tempting to lash out at your kids, but doing so will have an adverse effect and damage the bond you have with your kid.
It’s hard for parents to prioritising taking care of their own needs when they feel they’re always “on”. Having to meet the needs of kids, partner, boss, co-workers, friends, and family.
Reducing attention-seeking behaviour positively.
Positive discipline includes several techniques that can lead to a more effective way for parents to manage their kid’s behaviour or for teachers to manage groups of students.
Children are real people with nuanced behaviour, and this is what positive parenting recognises. When we use decision making as a teaching moment, children learn what is appropriate, desirable behaviour and what is inappropriate, undesirable behaviour.
Parenting can be taxing; there’s no doubt.
Parents always feel better about themselves when they have a calming relationship with their children. And also when feeling more confident in their plan of how they will handle common behaviour issues.
Strict or physical discipline undermines the lesson you’re trying to teach and can backfire, leaving children with things like behavioural problems.
For example, if your child needs to take a break because they were not sharing. Try to provide an opportunity to demonstrate the acceptable sharing behaviours and be praised for that positive behaviour.
When teaching your behaviour expectations and or providing a consequence, stay calm, use eye contact, and get to the same eye level with them. Inconsistency will make them think they can get away with their bad behaviour.
Managing that misbehaviour has evolved in recent years, most notably with the philosophy of positive discipline. You take a child out of the environment where the problematic behaviour is occurring, so they’re no longer triggered.
They are exploring new things around them.
Once you recognise the reasons for your child’s misbehaviour, you can then correct their mistaken belief about how to feel loved, influential and valued in the world.
Positive parenting teaches discipline that builds your children’s self-esteem while correcting their misbehaviour. Just about the best thing any parent can do to improve their child’s behaviour is spending some one-on-one time with them.
Stay connected as a family unit.
Family relationships are a source of some of the most meaningful and most intense experiences in our lives. Providing the joy of belonging through unconditional acceptance, trust and love for one another.
Resolve family conflict with empathy, validation and healthy communication skills—alternatives to punishment to help a child behave in more helpful ways. Assisting the siblings to get along with each other takes patience and practice.
Isn’t your goal to help your child feel good and act better?
With older children, involve them in setting family rules to empower them to be active participators in running of the household. Despite age, positive parenting has the potential to develop both trust and communication, increasing the chances that your child will come to you during the tough times.
In times such as this, above all else, providing a loving and nurturing home environment will support their children best through this crisis.
What are the types of families?
We have stepfamilies; single-parent families; families headed by two unmarried partners, either of the opposite sex or the same sex; households that include one or more family members from a generation; adoptive families; foster families; and families where children are raised by their grandparents or other relatives.
Using positive parenting, your children learn how to make good choices, accept logical consequences, and understand more about how the world works.
Identifying how to communicate with respect and parent cohesively can make a significant difference in successful parenting and stress reduction for the entire family.
Parents regularly converse with their children and allow room for the child to express their thoughts and feelings about circumstances, rules, boundaries, limits, and consequences.
Listen to your children, respect, and treat them with dignity.
Children and teens need boundaries and limits for their safety and growth. Still, they also need time where they make mistakes and the consequence of natural result.
For a child, belonging means feeling connected to the essential people in life and feeling sure about how he fits in your family. Your child needs to feel emotionally connected to the vital people in their lives and be sure of their role in the family.