What support would elderly parents living with you need?
Moving older parents to your home may be a good fit for some, but it is essential to consider the options first. Living with elderly parents can also be exhausting for the caregiver and other family members, and working out how to take care of ageing parents can be difficult.
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Elderly parents living with you.
Remember that before you leave ageing parents alone, to re-evaluate current scenarios, seniors’ health and skills change over time.
When leaving seniors alone is not an option, family members could get reliable support and assistance from home care agencies.
This decision also concerns your finances.
An ageing parent may no longer stay safely at home for an extended period of time due to cognitive or physical health decline.
Numerous families feel compelled to make knee-jerk care rulings following health setbacks. It’s also been known for ageing parents who show up on their adult children’s doorsteps ready to move in.
Adult children often feel weighed down by the promises they have made, the financial needs of the entire household and the guilt of caregiving.
When Your Elderly Parents Move In With You
It can be difficult to balance caregiving responsibilities with a full-time job. An aging parent might need 24-hour care. You could hire a home health aide during your working hours or use an adult day health care service, but this can be expensive in many parts of the country. “The child taking care of a parent may need to scale back his or her own career to take care of a parent,” Katz says.
Parents moving in may have their own activities and medical appointments, which may take time away from normal family routines. “Your time budget has shifted,” Luber says. “You may have other priorities. Your children are getting older. You may have thought you would have more time for hobbies. Now you take care of your elderly parents.”
Not everybody has space, time and resources to house and care for elderly family members. And this can be exasperated by the refusal of your parents to admit they need help.
Start your conversation with your parents by reassuring them that you will work to create a lifestyle that makes everyone as happy and healthy as possible.
Over time, positions change, and the parent who has doubtless spent a lifetime caring for a child is now the one who needs help.
A focus on the future may be useful.
Role reversal is a challenge, and it can be challenging to know precisely when and how much help an older parent needs.
When caregivers take time off work, they lose pay, and that lost wage can affect their savings and threaten their future finances.
How do your family feel about this move?
If your family members are going to work or mix with others socially, home life may well be less safe than a nursing home with strict protocols.
Many family members are unsure about the payment of bills and the responsibility for debts when their senior loved one is ill or dies.
Being a caregiver is challenging.
If the arrangement does not go well, if there is a lot of struggle and conflict, or if the care tasks are more than you have signed up for, this struggle can lead to resentment and stress in your family.
Seniors never want to depend on their family to take care of the essential things they have done themselves for decades, and if you push too hard, they may not share when they need help.
You owe it to your own mental and physical health to understand what is going on and how you can get the support you need to make a plan that benefits everyone in your family.
If you do not want them to leave the house, you might ask a friend or family member to take over your responsibilities while leaving for a short time to relax.
By adapting living arrangements, strategic family planning and designating family caregivers, long-term care in the home may be possible.
If families cannot fulfil their responsibilities, other social bodies have the duty to help them and support the family’s home.
Many caregivers have dealt with this.
Other helpful exercises include family communication, finding local services for transportation or home repairs, exploring senior living options, and giving emotional support.
It’s about weighing up the pros and cons, talking to other family members and setting healthy boundaries for everyone.
Depending on your position in life and your personal goals, dreams, or wishes, you may have other priorities you want to consider.
Sometimes it is impossible to prevent other significant life changes, but if you can limit other stressful life changes, do it!
Your parents may be facing death.
Everyone says life is short, but people live long lives nowadays, and some daughters who care for their mothers resent every second of it.
But having your head in the sand won’t make these problems disappear and will ultimately do more harm than good to the long-term well-being and quality of life of your loved ones.
Growing older can be very frightening, and the possibility of losing the life you have known for decades can be overwhelming.
This is one of my favorite pictures of my parents. (Taken at Cracker Barrel, their favorite restaurant.) Today marks 5 years since Daddy's death. February 24th will be 4 years since Mama joined him. Sigh. February sucks. #memories #grieving pic.twitter.com/0Pb2ME5ucI
— Isabella Norse (@AuthorIzzy) February 16, 2021
Getting older brings drastic changes in our habits and lifestyle; many are ingrained in us since our youth.
Often your first thought is to move Mom or Dad into your house, but this significant change in life deserves a thoughtful assessment, and there are many alternatives to explore.
For many, an ageing body and mind means a shrinking liberty and can feel like losing control over vital areas of life.
Speaking about ageing parents moving is hard.
The opportunity to participate in family life can also help create a sense of routine and purpose while potentially reducing loneliness.
If walking becomes a problem, your loved one will increasingly depend on others to help them with everyday tasks.
It’s all about a healthy balance.
Often the best living situation for your parents depends on their health and level of independence. The time might arrive when a home health professional or a caring neighbour is not enough.
Although family care is a challenge that many adults face as their parents’ age, the responsibility for their health and well-being need not be yours alone.
You, too, will have lots of questions.
Even though your parents are in good health and live alone, you can still take steps to prepare for the transition to the next phase of life.
As we age, especially as adults, many of us will inevitably reach the point where we worry about our parents’ health.
We would all like them to remain healthy and live independently if possible, but there will be a time when they may need help in some everyday activities.
- Even if they regard us as adults, we are still their children.
- The emotional burden of caring for a loved one can be overwhelming.
- Ageing does not have to be a burden and a challenge for both parties.
- When people get sick, it affects their judgment and logical thinking.
- Sometimes it’s just not an option to keep a family member in the house.
- Keep in mind that their denial stems from pride and fear of going to a nursing home.
It can also be problematic in your parents’ lives as they adapt to a new lifestyle and face deteriorating health.
Family caregivers must continuously reassess their parents’ health and skills and judge whether they can remain safe for a short time alone.
In these cases, caregivers must make the difficult decision to put their own physical and mental health, happiness and immediate family first.
The majority of caregivers mean well.
Moving older parents to a living arrangement that provides care and support is difficult, but sometimes it’s the only way to keep them safe and healthy.
Be realistic about how much care you can offer without sacrificing your health, relationships and other responsibilities.