I Think We're All Agreed That Being a Single Mom Is Hard but Don't Let It Get You Down
Being a single mom is infinitely preferable to living in a bad marriage, and it even has things worth celebrating.
Table of Content
The Truth about Being a Single Mom
While many married women may stay home with their children, most single mothers don’t have a choice about whether they work. Just because your child has to stay in day-care or you don’t have time to make homemade cupcakes for the PTA bake sale doesn’t make you any less of a mom.
It can be even harder trying to balance parenting with work for single moms. A single mom has to take care of the kids and provide for them all by herself.
Your Positive Attitude Will Brighten Your Families Lives
Sometimes to provide for the children, she often has no choice but to put in extra working hours. However, while good parenting involves making sacrifices, it does not mean neglecting yourself or becoming isolated from others.
Every mother needs to take time to make sure her physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs are being met. Though you may think it seems counterintuitive, taking time for yourself will actually make you a better mom.
Being a mom can often mean placing your children’s wants and needs above your own, a responsibility that is intensified for single mothers. And sometimes feeling rundown and overworked is likely to make you irritable and less patient or could even lead to depression.
- It may even feel lonely in the happiest of times.
- They are part of you and part of your life.
- It is possible to be happy as a single mom.
- Single dads feel the same as single moms.
With no one else to carry the weight of parenting responsibilities day in and day out, it is easy for single moms to become both physically and mentally worn out. We all need time to rest and recharge since we cannot continue to devote ourselves to others if we’re running on empty.
But the parent-child relationship can’t replace having a partner and teammate to walk with you through the madness of parenting. Because as a mother, it’s tempting to prioritise everyone in the world before yourself, but making sure your own needs are met is a vital part of thriving as a mom.
A divorce can leave children feeling upset and confused.
When self-care falls by the wayside, you are much more likely to feel rundown, which is when loneliness can hit the hardest. You should never be afraid to contact others for companionship and support or to explore the resources available for single moms in your area.
People may judge you for your relationship status or minimise the struggles you face. Still, many fail to see the positive side of single motherhood. Without a father around, it is typical for single moms to worry about the effect this might have on their children.
Friends and Family Every Single Mom Needs Them
While we may have mom-friends that are raising kids with a partner and are busy negotiating every last detail of how to approach parenthood. Single mothers have to be five steps ahead. Single mom support groups provide an outlet for making new friends. They’re great places for finding the backing you may feel you are otherwise lacking in your attempt to parent solo.
Single moms can often feel trapped beneath a mountain of responsibility that never allows them to invest in friendships, much less find another life companion. You might also feel you are missing out on the carefree life that your friends have.
Your Friends and Family Can Be Lifelines
But some married friends complain about their partners, leaving me feeling grateful for my autonomy as an individual and a parent. When I get with my mom friends, both married and single. I see we are all living an intense and unspeakable roller coaster of contradictions — adoration, panic, resentment, loyalty and love.
You will probably never achieve the perfect work-life balance. Still, you can strive to prioritise the most essential things in your life and develop a system that meets your family’s needs. Don’t be afraid to contact family, friends, and your community for support.
Is It Hard Being a Single Mom?
It really is hard being a single parent. You have to deal with the parental duties and balance work, clean the house, cook dinner, and try to have a relationships with others, and what happens if you get sick? You cannot call in and take the day off from being a parent.
The disruptions that the family as a system experiences often compound with maladjustments that individual family members experience. Single parents often feel alone in their experiences, mainly because society prioritises the two-parent family, even in the modern-day.
The reason for the problems is not necessarily single-parenthood itself, but a combination of economic pressures, family instability and conflict between parents. I know no single mom who doesn’t have an extensive network of friends and family helping her.
Despite what your perfect mom friends say or do, no one is a super mom. To raise a baby and toddler alone is a lot different than parenting an inquisitive five-year-old. They may have friends whose moms and dads either live together or are both involved.
Your children are important family members.
It may not take a whole tribe to raise a child, but a little help from grandparents, aunts, uncles and friends sure does make it easier and more fun. Don’t forget you could hire a babysitter, ask friends or family members to lend a hand or join a support group.
Much of this planning will include setting up a support system of family and friends to help you. Connect with other moms, get friends and family to pitch in, pay someone to do a chore around the house you can’t stand or don’t have time for.
The Dilemma of Being a Single Mom Surviving
One of the hardest parts of being a single mom is dealing with loneliness. Let’s not forget that being a single mom does not mean that your dating life is over forever. Still, it does mean that your dating life is going to look very different than it did before.
Becoming a single mother does mean you have to balance parenting, working, household responsibilities, and dating that more often ends up disastrously. Dating might be a natural step in life but should be approached with caution and optimism.
People Are Single Parents for Different Reasons
Take some time to assess your values and comfort levels with the different aspects of dating. Only you can know whether dating is right for you.
Whether you want to catch up with friends and do something social or take a mental health day and read a book or watch your favourite movie, find something life-giving to fill your time. Make sure you have a good group of family and friends, for support, in times of joy and stress.
Although you can make friends with partnered moms too, it is easiest to confide in another single mom who may understand you more easily. Discuss with your friends your major decision issues.
- Moms put themselves last.
- Your kids are likely to get clingy.
- Have your kids help you with chores.
- Don’t judge single parents but admire them.
Encouraging your children to ask questions is a crucial part of allowing them to heal and cope with changes in your family. Regardless of why your at this point in your life, you’re the one with know-how to make your family work.
A single parent might beg for a night off, or for their child to spend some time with a family member, and it’s not because they don’t love their child. Some moms worry that family members will feel taken advantage of. Still, older family members looking out for the youngest kids is a tradition as old as time.
Parenting is hard work, especially when you’re alone.
Working single moms will say the guilt of leaving the kids in the evening to do something just for yourself is crushing. You may feel pressured to give the best support you can, yet ultimately you exhaust all your means of enough finances.
You already know you love your kids and have what it takes to be loving and firm, so make a good job of it. Some kids even feel like they need to fill in the role of the missing parent and act like they’re in charge instead of the child they are.
Being a Single Mom and the Kids
No matter how your children became the kids of a single parent, you will worry daily about the effect that it’s having on them and feel responsible. You’ll read about some of the problems that can arise for kids in single-parent households and try to understand what you can do to minimise the risks to your children.
However, when your kids become your life, it will leave you feeling lonely when they are not around. Along with that, I find the lack of another set of eyes, another heart loving my kids, another creative planner helping to make life work. This is what also makes the alone feeling more overwhelming.
Find Comfort in Support from Friends, and Find outside Interests
As you juggle your kids’ needs with other responsibilities, you need a career that allows you to balance work demands with your personal and family obligations and commitments. Your kids will bring you loads of happiness, and you’ll have lots of pride about how well you’ve managed and thrived as a family.
No one said single parenting is good for the kids, and best that kids develop with both parent figures.
Why Do Single Moms Seem to Raise Bad Sons?
Single mothers are among the most significant enablers of bad behaviour in boys. Whenever they make mistakes in their lives, they’ll blame others for the wrongs of “Their boy”. And the moment they fail in life, moms there to bail them out. Thanks to their coddling, their sons never grow up learning they have to take responsibility for their actions.
When your kids are old enough to see they have everything kids with two parents, have, maybe even more for them, as they don’t share the mother with another adult. You serve as a role model of persistence and strength, not just for your kids, but for other mothers. For single mothers by chance, the kids show them the best of a missing partner.
As a working mom, we have to do much of the “parenting” on our own, maybe we’ll never know justwhat it feels like to drop our kids off at day-care, or the need to choose between work and a sick kid. You and your kids need to know what to expect for parenting time.
Without somebody to share your daily responsibilities or decision-making, you may feel guilty about leaving your kids in the morning. Single moms are likely to feel guilty of not providing enough for the kids.
When you’re a single mom, your friends step up.
Moms who work can feel ashamed for missing out on time with their kids while moms who don’t work are called lazy. We grow up believing one day we’ll marry and have kids. Did you want to become your mother, chopping vegetables, exhausted from a long day at work and demanding kids at night? I did.
Whether it’s what type of lawnmower to buy or what school to send the kids to. I could ask my parents or friends, but you’re the only one invested in your children. You’ll notice that your kids are more competent, more observant, and kinder than many of their friends who live in two-parent households.